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Archive for July, 2010

The Underpants Challenge

Saturday, July 10th, 2010

I was inspired by the news story about the 215 pairs of underpants

This 10-year-old kid was perusing the Guinness Book and saw where some kindred spirit set a record when he put on 214 pairs of u-trow. So the kid (let’s just call him Captain Underpants) decided to use the occasion of his birthday to publicly beat that record. A glimpse at the Captain’s birthday video shows that his mom and dad, thrilled that their son would take on this underpants challenge, proudly supplied and numbered the stacks of white cotton briefs.

He did it, although he lost circulation in his legs in the final stretch, and slipped into #215 while horizontal. The crowd went wild.

You gotta hand it to the Captain, putting some zip in his birthday celebration with something that transcends pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. I’m thinking maybe I should do something equally attention-getting on my  birthday. I’m steering away from the underpants thing because I’d have to go for 216, and I have found that Hanky Pankies lose their allure when worn in multiple layers. Plus, they are not cheap; my party budget does not allow 4K for undergarments.

I’m thinking maybe I’ll look for some other record to break. Maybe I’ll take a whack at the one set by  Andre The Giant, who drank 117 beers in one sitting.


101 Reasons To Light The Grill…Is 99 Too Many

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

“OMG.” That’s what was in the thought bubble above my head when I opened the Dining section of the NYTimes on Wednesday to find Mark Bittman’s article titled “101 Reasons For Lighting The Grill.” The very thought of all those reasons made me want to   sit down. As it happened, I was on an airplane, so sitting was pretty much my only option anyway.

But I was only on reason #26 when I had a breakdown. I felt like I did at the Bloomingdale’s shoe sale; I was overwhelmed by choices.  I stowed the NYTimes,  grabbed my iPod and summoned the flight attendant for an alcoholic beverage.

Anyway, I already had 1 good reason for lighting my grill (which was the expected arrival of 12 people on Sunday for lunch) and  that seemed like enough. But as I listened to my “mellow” playlist and sipped my wine, two words from Bittman’s piece kept bobbing to the surface of my mind: “Bacon dog.” Everyone is at least a closeted bacon dog lover, if not an overt one.

So now I have 2 Reasons For Lighting The Grill. That’s about all I can handle, Mr. Bittman, but thanks anyway.