The Aussies really have got it going on. In addition to having cool accents, kangaroos and Hugh Jackman, they now have Manland at Ikea.
Manland is day care for retail-phobic men. A man cave offering free hot dogs, video games, non-stop sports on TV, pinball machines and a foosball table, it keeps the dudes occupied while the ladies shop until they drop. Actually, the store supplies the shoppers with buzzers that go off after thirty minutes, lest the gals should get carried away and forget to fetch their guys.
I wish the Ikea near me would pick up on this. For that matter, I wish this service were available at all the stores I frequent. If the supermarket had dude care I’d happily stick Tom in there while I’m food shopping. His efforts to help are sweet, but with the time it takes to explain where the mayonnaise is and to send him back for the correct dishwashing liquid and to explain why we need both plastic wrap and parchment paper, well, I’m better off is he’s playing foosball.
I also wish there was a Ladyland, a female equivalent in certain stores, a chick cave, so when your husband drags you to the sale at Big Five you don’t have to watch him trying on eight pairs of running shoes or fondling tennis rackets. While he’s getting in touch with his inner jock, Ladyland would offer us women free chardonnay, a masseuse, a fortune teller, reruns of The Good Wife on TV and several iPads featuring the Angry Birds app.
You know what would happen. Tom’s buzzer would go off after a half an hour and I’d utter words so unlikely, he’d question my sanity: “Honey, please don’t make me leave the Big Five.”