Obama sent me a Valentine!

Well, sort of, I mean, indirectly. Well, to be honest, I sent it to myself at his suggestion. Okay, he didn’t personally suggest it, like, text me from his Blackberry or something, but…here’s what happened:

Somewhere, I read a list of B. O.’s favorite foods. All Americans should keep this list handy, because, being the populist that he is, you never know when Barack might drop in for dinner. Even I, a self-described crabby cook, would be okay with cooking for Barack. Especially when I read his list:

First, his dislikes: mayonnaise, salt and vinegar chips, asparagus and soft drinks.
So, if you really have it in for him, say you’re a vengeful McCainiac, you might make that casserole of asparagus in a creamy mayo sauce with crumbled S ‘n V’s on top. And Pigs’ Legs in Coca-cola, a dish for which I actually have the recipe, if you are interested.

Obama likes the following: sparkling water, trail mix (Planter’s, that is), roasted almonds, pistachios, MET-Rx Chocolate Roasted Peanut Protein bars, and vegetables (especially broccoli and spinach). How easy is that? A quick trip to Whole Foods and you’ve got an Obama party in your pantry.

Oh, but the final item on the ‘likes’ list is…the thing. Apparently, he’s crazy for Fran’s Chocolates, specifically her Smoked Salt Caramels. I read this and went straight to the website. A few days later, I got a lovely, Valentine-y red box of handmade heaven. These are so good, I know if I’d been eating them longer I, too, would be president. (Or at least Secretary of State.)

You should order these either to 1) experience extreme pleasure, 2) get elected to public office, or 3) have on hand in case Obama shows up and you’re out of trail mix.
And when those candies show up at your door, you can tell everyone that Obama sent you a Valentine, and you’d be almost not lying.