I just read this story in the news about a German scientist named Dr. Hilbig who claims to have proved that fish can get seasick. He came to this stunning conclusion after putting forty-nine fish in a small aquarium, sending them up in an airplane, and then sending that plane into a steep dive, simulating the loss of gravity.

Apparently, eight of the fish started spinning around in circles. “They were behaving like humans who get seasick,” Dr. H. claims. “They became…confused and looked as if they were going to vomit.”

Okay, so I’m impressed the guy knows how to read a fish’s facial expression, but, I have to say, if I were in a plane that suddenly plummeted towards earth, I have no doubt that I, too, would go into a tailspin and vomit, but I’m not sure I’d call it ‘seasickness.’ The real mystery is why the other forty-one fish remained calm.

Smartypants Hilbig posits that “In the wild such ‘seasick’ fish would become prey for others because they are incapable of fleeing from danger.” But my guess is that the fish were already incapable of that, or they wouldn’t have been passengers on Flight Nosedive.

Adding insult to injury (or actually injury to insult), the eight flustered fish later had their brains examined to determine the exact cause of their ‘seasickness.’ If you ask me, someone does indeed need to have their head examined, but it ain’t the fish.