I’m fascinated by the goings on in Chinchilla, a tiny town in Australia that hosts a wild and well-attended Watermelon Festival every couple of years.

One of the activities featured is watermelon skiing. You stick your feet in a couple of melons, like shoes (or maybe jump on them from a high place), and ‘ski’ down a slippery slope in this all-natural equipment. There’s pit-spitting, too, of course, and the melon bungee event sounds intriguing, but the big draw is the melon smashing contest.

The world record was broken recently when a guy smashed forty melons with his head in just under a minute. (Here’s the evidence). I’m thinking this would be a good exercise for anyone who is suffering from an overexposure to bad economic news. Read the Wall Street Journal and then go smash some watermelons with your head to get over it.

But when the Chinchilla story begs the question of what they do with all that watermelon pulp at the end of the day, I’d suggest they harvest it for watermelon martinis. Drinking these is a kinder, gentler way to kill the Economy Blues. I mean, smashing melons with your head is not as easy for everyone as it is for that guy in Chinchilla. (Here’s the evidence.)

Here’s a recipe for a watermelon martini, but don’t drink too many or it will be you who is gettting smashed.

Watermelon Martini

3 ounces pureed seedless watermelon

3 ounces citrus vodka (or watermelon vodka)

Juice of one lime (about 1 ounce)

2 teaspoons simple syrup (or more if you like it sweeter)

Ice

Place all the ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Stir like mad, then strain the martini into a cocktail glass and drink it right up. Do not attempt watermelon skiing if you have had one of these cocktails.

When the economy tanks, life becomes challenging for those of us who depend on retail therapy to maintain balance. You need to cut your spending, but what do you tell your inner shopper?

If you’ve been struggling to suppress your urge to shop (UTS) while your 401K is gasping for breath, last week’s New York Times had this suggestion: buy a lipstick. For the small price of, say, “Sweet Honey” by YSL or “Casual Beige” by Dior, you can satisfy that UTS with minimal damage, and lively up yourself for the duration of the lipstick’s life.

The purchase might even polish up your audacity of hope, which may have gotten a little tarnished since the post-election nightly news became a depress-a-rama.

This trick won’t work for everyone; I don’t know too many dudes who buy lipstick. But I tried it, and I’m here to testify. I bought Bobby Brown’s “Brown,” which I know sounds a little dreary but it was an excellent pick-me-up and satisfied my UTS so I could ignore higher ticket items like the boots that are on sale at Bloomingdale’s.

The effect lasted, oh, a good thirty-six hours. Now I’m pondering other choices. There’s Chanel’s “Enigma,” which looks promising, and also a good one from CVS (by Rimmel) called “Coffee Shimmer” that’s only $4.99. (I wonder if you get as much UTS suppression from a cheaper lipstick. Can’t wait to find out.)

Of course, the way things are going in retail, I figure if I wait a few weeks, those boots at Bloomingdale’s might be going for less than “Enigma.”