Last night I dreamed that Obama, dressed impeccably in his usual suit, collapsed into my arms, weeping. “I’m overwhelmed by the Forces of Evil!” he sobbed. We were in a golf cart at the time. (Michelle was busy watching “The Aristocats” on TV.)

Pre-bedtime, I’d been reading the New York Times article about how the BP-inflicted chaos might  affect the presidency, which was, no doubt, the trigger for my midnight vision. If that oil keeps a-spillin’, my dream may become reality (although perhaps without yours truly and the golf cart.)

But that might not be such a bad thing, if the King of Cool were to show a little more spill-related rage, sweat, tears and teeth-gnashing. I know Maureen Dowd would like it, and she’s not alone. It wouldn’t hurt for us to see real evidence that Barry is feeling at as frustrated, saddened and helpless as we feel when we see the dead pelicans on TV every night. I mean, we know he feels the pain, we know he cares completely. But knowing is like dreaming. It’s a little insubstantial.

Misery loves company. So, come on Barack. Yes, you are being overwhelmed by the Forces of Evil. Go ahead. Make my dream come true. Let’s see some tear stains on that suit.

I

In recent months there’s been a rash of stories about animals getting their heads stuck in things.

Admittedly, these stories have surfaced only on slow news days, like, say, while we’re waiting for Obama to clue us in on Afghanistan. A reporter’s gotta come up with something while Barry keeps us hanging about troop numbers. I think that’s why we got the news about the raccoon with his head stuck in a peanut butter jar.

Then I heard about a hedgehog who got a yogurt container stuck on her head. That story slipped into headline position when people needed a break from the health care debate for a couple days. In a related story, a squirrel was caught on video, also wearing a yogurt container. Either he was bored with acorns and sampling dairy, or maybe, after he’d got his head un-stuck from a vodka botle,  he was wearing the squirrel equivalent of a lampshade. (You decide: click here.)

One week, when there was no tasty news about some governor having an affair, reporters seized on the story of that elk wearing a bar stool. This story has juice: how did that happen? Was he the loser in a bar fight? The elk story stirred almost as much discussion as Tiger Woods.

But maybe the most intriguing was the news about the cow who somehow got her head stuck in a washing machine. For a brief time, when Sarah Palin was neither resigning nor promoting a book, reporters loved this. It was such a refreshing change from covering the antics of humans.